my Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- shut your fucking face uncle fucker Sitting at the computer hitting the caps lock button a million times a minute listening to the beeping noise that it make. why do i work in front of a computer and then come home and spend hours in front of my own? god i hate my job. i hate working on the phones, i hate working with poor people who are getting evicted cause they can't pay their rent and who are single student fathers with cancer and a screaming baby. i hate irate neighbors who cannot stand their low-income neighbors. i hate the women i work with. i hate that there are no men to work with. i hate being checked out by the old men in the welfare line. it lasts until july 20 somthing, this assignment. i don't know if i can take it. i love being told by someone i've helped that in broken english "they are lucky to have met me". but that isn't reason enough for me to stay here. i think i do it because my mother doesn't want me there. "oil and gas" she says. yay. lets go work for talisman, or halliburton, or esso, or shell, or petrocanda, or the devil. i would sooner knaw off my toes than work for halliburton or talisman or any of the others. yet i know that ulitimitely i will fall, i will cave to what she wants me to do because that's easier than arguing with her. and then she will sneer 'why do you let me have so much power?'. somedays, i can't wait to get home and hang myself. these days, i can't wait to get home and hang myself. today, i can't wait to go home. 5:30 p.m. - 2005-06-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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