my Diaryland Diary

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Anybody want BBQ?

Where oh where to begin.

Today I e-mailed a bunch of people I've pushed away over the last few months, either apologizing or asking them if I should prepare a eulogy for our friendship. After all, I'm an expert eugoogolizer *good grief I love zoolander*.

Am being attacked on all sides by people wanting to know when I'm moving, why I'm moving, where I'm going to live, how I'm going to live, am I excited blah blah blah. Thanks for taking an interest people, but kindly fuck right off. Thinking about my big move makes my right eye twitch like I'm about to smell burnt toast.

Last friday I told a guy I've had the hots for (for years I've jonesed for this guy) that "I'd fuck you in a heartbeat"
"Really?"
"Yeah"
"When?"
So I was under the impression that it was going to happen this weekend. Well ladies and gents, here is conclusive proof that there is no god.
a)got bikini wax monday $25.
b)bought hot new panties monday. $30
c)Called boy on tuesday. Left voicemail message.
d)got no phonecall wednesday.
e)got no phonecall thursday.
f)got no phonecall yet today. But guess what I did get? I'll give you one hint: I'm not pregnant!

I'm so lonely. No sex in 8 months. My uterus is going to shrivel and die with this lack of use. Son of a bitch.

I just burnt my finger really bad taking a pizza out of the oven. Every time I house sit for these people, I burn myself on their oven. Last time, it was because I was taking something out and I was talking on the phone and in a moment of unadulterated genius I dropped the phone in the oven. So I reach in, retrieve the phone, and leave grill marks all over my hand. Mmm mmm mmm...charbroiled goodnesss.

Well, off to go smite the pizza. I really hope there's something good on tv.

7:13 p.m. - 2005-07-15

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