my Diaryland Diary

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want to avoid and olive related choking incident?

sitting in the hotel room, spilling my guts to somebody simply to spare their feelings. telling them things that are none of their business and then explaining that to them. wondering if i should have sex, aknowledging that my nether regions really feel like i should but in my head thinking "ugh, him??? Hell no." and feeling sorry for him. i just couldn't bring myself to do it. i couldn't. and i'm not sorry about it. i mean, i wish i'd gotten laid but this weekend i think that i realized that sex without the intimacy isn't for me. it's all i've ever had and i'm just not satisfied. so i'm going to wait.
i deserve better than settling for what's in front of me just because it's there.
i am not going to die alone in a basement suite with only my twenty three pets to mourn me.

poor dennis.
sitting in the dark cause the power went out, knowing he wants to fuck. knowing that i just can't. knowing that a pity fuck is not the way to go. it would ulitimately just make things worse.

but i had the best talk with katie and brit the other day and i feel so much better about life and myself and everything. holy christ i'm feeling a little self confident. this could be good.

kris, mad props and love to you to my friend.

10:46 p.m. - 2006-05-04

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