my Diaryland Diary

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shit piss fuck cunt

words cannot express the depth of my pms induced rage and ensuing headache. I just want to go to bed.
my own bed.
not at greg and chris' house. this is not my home.
i hate feeling so out of place, but i always have here.
i hate being back in this city because to me, it's losing control of my life again. back in van, i live the way i want, when i want, on my own terms answerable to nobody but myself. i could never really have that level of independence here. never. i feel too obligated to too many people.

i hate that word and all of its connotations: obligation

it's now a four letter word.

also, in rereading my old entries, I AM A PSYCHO! It's so tough because i get so gushy and smushy and girly when i'm with a guy but when i'm not with someone i'm this dried up bitter old crone. but rereading that tripe i posted about my bf makes me want to vomit. so i'm really super sorry to anybody who had to read them. i'm sure your eyes bled. sure feels like mine did.

11:26 p.m. - 2006-10-05

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