my Diaryland Diary

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here she goes again

Oh carie. will you ever have any idea of how much i bleed for you? foolishly, blindly, profusely. tonnight i met the girl you like. she doesn't like you, at least not like that, at least not yet. why oh why oh why oh why oh why do i still want you? i don't even want you. i want the you that i want you to be, not the you that you are. why does it feel like i can't breathe, like the world is spinning when i think about someone else sleeping in my spot in your bed. why am i weeping so hard right now that i can't even see. i've never cried like this for anyone else, only for you. always for you. fucking you.
i'm so fcking lonely i could shrivel up and die and you have no goddamn clue. or if you do, you just don't care. i wonder if i'll ever show you this, show you my emo fucking diary where self loathing is the message of each day and the writing is so infused with melodrama it looks like swiss cheese.
i just want to feel whole again.

12:47 a.m. - 2007-08-04

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